Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
