dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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