Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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