i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
