I must be too annoying 4 u.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
