Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
