I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
