when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I need moral support for this bender
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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