I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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