I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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