i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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