do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
