you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
