I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
