i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
