I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
