i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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