Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
