I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
