my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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