You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
