The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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