Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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