is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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