I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize