he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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