he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize