You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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