At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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