I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
