I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
