I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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