You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
