It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Someone came in the potted fern
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize