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I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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