oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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