my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
