u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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