I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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