youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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