Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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