Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
