We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
