my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
