Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
