You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
