Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
