broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize