It's Friday. Sex?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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