Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
