my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
