I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
