Your dad touched me again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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