worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize