you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
