Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
