the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
