Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's just like the Real World with babies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize