she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Maybe he injected his testicle?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
