Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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