i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You ruined the universe
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